I have written this post a thousand times in my mind. It’s my eighth year as a full time missionary serving internationally. I am asked often if I could go back in time eight years ago and give myself advice about missions, what I would say. So I wrote a letter from myself in present day to myself in the past. However, if you ever wanted a better description of life lessons or thoughts-I am much better at sharing my heart, in person, over a cup of coffee!
It is the summer of 2009. You are selling your stuff, have turned in your notice at work and you are slowly packing up your Kentucky life. Over your last few weeks Stateside, you will come to realize that you are leaving Kentucky for much longer than your original commitment of six months. As this realization hits you, you will end up keeping it to yourself because you will find it hard to explain to friends and family that life as you know it will never truly be the same. You know that not because a nation and culture will change you but because the journey of obedience that God will take you on will change you. You didn’t choose Costa Rica and in fact had other countries in Africa and Asia burning in your heart. You are not sure why God asked you to go to Costa Rica and many people were surprised you chose to go. You are not surprised but you are curious. It will be a few months after serving in Costa Rica that you will learn why He sent you but it will be a few years before you understand the deeper purpose. Be patient and trust Him even when so much goes wrong or doesn’t make sense because everything God does has a specific purpose.
Years three-five will be some of the hardest experiences of your life on the field. You will come close to giving up more times than you will be able to count. You will make mistakes that will teach you some of the greatest life lessons you will ever come to learn, you will disappoint people and you will question the goodness of God. However, you will learn in these tough years that God is not afraid of an honest why, that no amount of education, experience and programs can save a person more than Jesus and that your theology and resolute faith on the the goodness of God will always be your sustainability.
Years five through seven will bring you to a deep place of surrender and you will feel a peace like you have never known in the midst of heart breaking circumstances. However by year seven you will feel more contentment than you ever have and your journey will have made so much more sense. You will have learned how much it is not about you and how much it is about Him. You will learn that when He comes to you with a request, you will weigh out your yes to Him because you will have understood the importance of commitment and being decided.
And by year eight(yes, you’ll make it this far) you will see God bring some things full circle and open new doors. You will begin to sell your stuff in Costa Rica as the all too familiar tug at your heart will begin to pull you into new directions.
There is much I could tell you, Anna, but it will be better for you to walk through it all and realize that God is not about the destination but the journey. Don’t be afraid to take risks and don’t fear failure. You will fail from time to time but you will learn from those failures and you will pick yourself back up and keep going. God will use Costa Rica to send you to many other nations. You will collect so many stamps in your passport that you will have to add pages. This journey will be full of amazing people, friends, connections and victories. You will come to love Costa Rica, its people and its culture and you will realize that God still has more nations ahead for you.
You will come to learn and understand that when God sends His kids all over the world to serve its because He wants His kids to know each other, love each other, to understand each others culture and recognize the importance of adding to and building His family. Missions is not about fixing a nation, every nation is broken but you will eventually learn that God connects His kids for acts of service not so that they can be known but so that He can be known. It is always about the message of the gospel and while God might use His kids to serve in orphanages, churches, non-profits, outreaches in red light districts and so much more. His desire is that all would still point to Him and building His kingdom and never the other way around.
Remember that intimacy with God will be your lifeline. Your private world with God will always directly affect your public world. God will never fail you and He will prove His faithfulness over and over to you.